I just quit this job last week, but on the day that I quit I never dreaded going in more. I had a panic attack on my way in and was just not in a good head space. I worked at a local dive bar where I opened worked and closed the bar by myself. There were a lot of regulars, some I loved, most I grew to not be able to stand for different reasons. So much had happened in the bar during the time that I worked there that I just got to a breaking point. The bar is also haunted, which a lot of people might not believe and that’s okay, but the day before this day I’m writing about, something grabbed my hip while I was closing by myself, while I was crying after a rough shift on the phone with my boyfriend. There is camera footage of me falling back out of my chair. A lot of people refer to this particular dive bar as a “black hole”. That even when you don’t want to go out drinking, it feels like you always end up there somehow. I started a few months in to worry about my spirit, being around such darkness all the time. It became a spiritual question of whether I should work there anymore. I could make 2000 dollars in a weekend, I only worked 2 days a week. That’s the only thing that kept me there. But on the day I’m writing about, I came in upset overstimulated and overwhelmed, and my boss was unexpectedly there. I was also cold and wearing my boyfriends jacket. The first thing he said to me is that I look terrible. And he gave me something else to wear. I changed in the freezer walk in, and just started bawling in the freezer. I quit that night.