I had been depressed for a few months now, you went to New York, and while I had the chance to go with you I was afraid. I declined the offer and I regret it everyday of my life. We hadn't talked in months, I had been super clingy and overbearing and I understand. I scrolled though countless old messages trying to find your number. In my haste to try and cut you out of my life I deleted your number thinking it would help me, it didn't. I missed you every second of everyday. I don't even remember calling you, how long had I been walking for anyways? My memory is hazy, I can't remember if you had picked up or not. Did I hear your voice or did I imagine it? Did we text? Fuck, why can't I remember. Later you did text me, telling me to go home, this walk wasn't good for me. You said you still needed time alone, away from me. I understand. But fuck, for that moment it was amazing to think about having you back in my life. I got carried away again, but I want to live in my dreams, with you.